Say Goodnight, Not Goodbye
by MeghanA3
Summary: How Can You Say Goodbye to the one person you never stopped loving?


Jason walked into the penthouse. The emptiness hit him like shock waves. He didn't want to believe it, but he knew it was true. All this time he fought trying to hold back the feelings he never thought he'd feel again, all wasted. He tossed his keys onto the desk and walked into the penthouse a bit more. He could almost swear he could hear her voice, the sound of her laugh. But all that was there was nothing. Her stuff wasn't even in the penthouse anymore. All he had was the picture he locked away years ago. All he had left was the memories.

_"I know you don't remember this, but I already agreed to marry you." Sam said to him bring her hand to his face and gently touching his face._

"I just -- I just need to hear you say it again you know, so I can carry it with me into -- to whatever happens. " Jason told her. "I want to spend my life with you, whatever that turns out to be. And I can't make any of the promises that I should. I don't know if we're going to be able to have kids or how many years we're going to have to spend together, but I do know I will love you for as long as I live."

"All of my life I have been chasing for something that was so out of reach. And then I found you. It was you. Yes. Yes, I will marry you." She said to him with a big smile on her face.

**Say goodnight, not goodbye  
You will never leave my heart behind  
Like the path, of a star  
I'll be anywhere you are**

Jason sat down on the stairs and found himself clinging to the box that held everything he couldn't have. It held pictures of Michael, along with pictures of Carly and Michael together. Pictures of Jake, Elizabeth had given to him or sent him. And held pictures of the past he had with Sam. The last pictures they had together he had stored in that box. I slowly placed it next to him and took off the top. Once he found the picture of him and Sam he brought t up and looked at it.

_Jason walked into the pent house. He closed the door and threw the keys on the desk. He looked up and saw Sam reading a Magazine walked around to the couch._

"Hey" Jason said getting Sam's attention and scaring her making her drop the magazine out of her hand. But Sam was able to catch it before it hit the ground.

"What are you doing home?" Sam asked, a bit uneasy. She pulled the headphones out of her ears. Jason walked closer to her.

"Well unless there is something you don't know this is my house" Jason answered her, still moving closer.

"Sonny and Carly are in a huge crisis" Sam said throwing the headphones and mp3player on the couch and starting to move the Magazine up.

"Yeah" Jason said not sure what it had to do with anything.

"I mean really you weren't suggested to be home for hours" Sam said bringing the Magazine up to hide her face. Jason couldn't help but laugh. He then reached for the magazine. "Come on go away" Sam said as she fought for the Magazine from him. "You cannot see me like this" Sam said as she lost the battle and Jason pulled her closer. She then put her hands up in front of her face.

"Why Not" Jason asked still laughing.

"Why not?" Sam said and then started to make a run for the upstairs. "Try I look like a scary monster from a horror film." She said only to be caught by Jason. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her off the stairs and back over to the cough. "Really Come on"

"Where you going" Jason asked and then put her down.

"I have to go upstairs and take this stuff off before it dries" Sam said as Jason put her down and she turned to face her.

"No you don't" Jason told her. "What... What...what is it?"

"What is it?" Sam said as she wiped her face and then looked at it.

"Yeah" Jason said agreeing with the question.

"You want to play like that, huh" Sam said and then brought her hands up and wiped in on his face. And as Sam was pulling her hands back Jason quickly grabbed them. The two couldn't help but laugh. 

**In the spark that lies beneath the coals  
In the secret place inside your soul  
Keep my life, in your eyes  
Say goodnight , not goodbye**

Jason didn't know how it come to this. He knew how they were torn apart, but how it had come to this, he didn't know. How he could have lost her, when some many other times he couldn't bear to be away from her. And not he had to say goodbye to her. Jason got up from the stairs and slowly made his way to the window. As soon as he reached it all he could do was hear the shot that took her from him. He looked at the hole in the glass. He will never forget the day the bulletproof glass became unbulletproof.

_"So I was thinking maybe we could moved the pool table a bit over" Sam told him trying to show him what she was with thinking with her hands._

"But then it be in the same spot" Jason told her, moving closer to the table.

"You're not envisioning what I'm thinking" Sam said with a laugh. She couldn't understand why Jason couldn't see what she was seeing.

"Okay then help me see it" Jason told her with a small smile.

"Then just come over here and I can show…. " Sam started to say, but was cut off by the sound of a gunshot.

"Sam get down" Jason said and pulled out his gun from his back and rushed over to the window to see where it came from. When he didn't see anything, he looked down at Sam who was on the ground. He was about to tell her it was okay, but saw the blood. Jason quickly dropped the gun and rushed to her side. "Spinelli" Jason yelled forgetting Spinelli moved out when Sam started to move back in.

Jason pulled Sam into is lap, there was nothing he could do. "Spinelli" Jason yelled again, but still nothing. Jason was relying on something that wasn't there and watching the light in Sam's eyes dim out. Jason couldn't help but notice how still she was and how she wasn't saying anything. Jason then watched as Sam hand feel limp and fell to the ground. She was gone and Jason couldn't save her, he couldn't save her this time.

Max rushed in to assist Jason if need be, but as soon as he saw Jason on the ground with Sam. Max then quickly exited the penthouse. Jason knew he was there, but chose to stay with Sam.

**Don't you fear, when you dream  
Waking up is never what it seem  
Like a jewel buried deep  
Like a promise meant to keep**

Jason had taken everything for grant it, had taken for grant it that he'd finally get the chance to spend forever with her. He thought that now they had finally found each other again things would be different. That it wouldn't be like the last time. He wouldn't have to watch her smile one minute and then fear if an enemy shot her to get back at him or to just to torture him. He thought since Sonny was in power again, things would be different.

Jason turned around and walked over to the pool table. He then picked up one of the balls and threw it across the room. It was the last thing they were talking about before he lost her. He didn't want to remember it. He then continued to take the balls and throw them. He then grab underneath the pool table and flipped it over. He then walked away from it, he needed to forget it.

_"Well, I tried to cook for you and, what, I nearly burned the place down? Then I try and plan a romantic dinner on the rooftop with the stars and we get soaked. I don't know what it is, but everything -- absolutely everything I try and do turns out to be a disaster, but that's okay, though." Sam said to Jason, playing with her chopsticks and the food._

" Tonight -- tonight was not -- was not a disaster." Jason told her with a sweet tone.

"Oh, you are very polite -- occasionally." Sam said to him, as she looked at him.

"I mean it. It was nice just, being up there with you, looking at your face." Jason told her sincerely.

"My -- what, the resemblance of a drowned rat must've been amazing, huh?" Sam said with a laugh.

"No, you looked -- you looked beautiful." Jason told her. Sam was a bit shocked.

"You mean that? I mean, of -- of course you mean that, because you'd never say things that you don't mean. And you certainly never pay compliments, which is why – " Sam started to say, but Jason interrupted her by pulling her close and into a kiss.

**You are everything you ought to be  
So just let your heart reach out to me  
I'll be right, by your side  
Say goodnight, not goodbye**

Jason found himself at the door of the room that was going to be Lila's nursery. He never in a million years expected to fall for her, but for all those months she stayed here, he couldn't help but fall for her. Jason walked into the room a bit more, it was still in boxes. Never did have a heart to change anything around. Still hoping one day he'd be able to fill it with his own son or daughter and their stuff. Letting them have their own room to themselves. But that dream slipped away so many times he started to believe that it was never going to happen.

_"The name is either McCall or Corinthos. I'm not sure how they wrote it down. Can you please help me?" Sam tried asking a nurse as Jason came around to the corner. He didn't want it to be true, but he knew it was. The nurse looked at Jason and then walked away._

"She -- she's not in there." Jason said as he moved to the spot where the nurse was standing.

"Then where is she, Jason?" Sam asked him.

"She's at the funeral home." Jason answered her. The worlds hurt him more than any bullet or knife could.

"No. That is the cruelest -- that is the cruelest thing a person could say to a mother. Do you know that?" Sam said to him. She didn't want to believe it.

"I'm sorry, but it's true" Jason said it. He hated that is was true.

"No. No, you're lying! You're lying to me! No! Liar! You're a liar!" Sam said. She then started to hit him. She wanted him to be wrong. She wanted him to be lying. And Jason just took it knowing it was something she had to do.

"Sam – " Jason said and then pulled her in close and wrapped his arms around her.

"Let me -- let me go!" Sam said trying to fight his embrace.

" Sam." Jason said trying to calm her down. He then brought them down to the ground, and pulled her in closer, trying to comfort her.

" No. No, my baby." Sam said crying finally giving in to Jason comfort and embrace and allowing him to hold her.

**You are everything you ought to be  
So just let your heart reach out to me  
Keep my life, in your eyes  
Say goodnight, not goodbye**

Jason walked out of the room and walked back down the stairs. He needed to get out of the place that took her from him. He needed to just get away. He grabbed his leather jacket and put it on. He then grabbed his keys to his motorcycle and walked out the door. He didn't bother waiting for the elevator and headed straight for the stairs. He walked down the as fast as he could till he reach the garage. Once he got to it, he walked over to his bike and got on. He started it up and started driving, heading for the one place he knew he needed to be.

_"Why did you come here?" Sam asked as the stood at Lila's Grave._

"To try one last time to remember so I wouldn't have to leave." Jason said to her. He then slowly turned and faced her. "I sat here and -- and thought about holding her. You know, how she looked. How I felt, and -- and, you know, I kept trying to -- to push it. I -- I wanted to remember, to make myself remember to think, you know -- to think what happened next. What happened? I must have set her down, right? Did I -- did I walk out of the room? Did I sit by you? I can't remember. You know, just the doctor calling me the father, and then -- and then seeing her so -- yeah, so tiny in my hands. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I shouldn't even be telling you this." Jason said explaining it to her, but so soon realizing it was upsetting her.

"Oh, no, no, no, please, I want you to. I want you to." Sam said she knew he hurt but she always wanted Jason to remember and stay with her. So she knew she could take a bit of the pain of losing Lila if it meant Jason had a shot at remembering his past.

"You said I believe in God, so I tried to pray. You know, I thought about your daughter in heaven, and what she'd want for you. She wants you to be happy. Even if I never remember -- I want to stay with you." Jason told her. Jason could see a glimmer in her eyes when he told her he wanted to say with her. He knew it wasn't much now, but he was something. He then took her hand and slowly pulled her closer. Sam moved closer as he pulled her closer and then once reached him wrapped her arms around him. He did the same. And they stood there in each other embrace.

Jason reached where it was going. He stopped his bike and shut it off. He kick down the kickstand and got off the bike. He then started watching, needed to be in the one pace that could make everything right. Once he got to the spot he looked down and there was the marker that saw Baby Girl McCall. He then looked to the right of it and there it saw Danny McCall. He then looked left of Lila's grave and there it was. The marker read Samantha McCall, Beloved Daughter. Jason knelt down and placed his hand on the marker.

"Goodbye Sam"

**Say goodnight, not goodbye**

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Italics - Flash Backs  
Bold - Song


End file.
